New Age Gandhi

New age Gandhi : My quick take on Vijay Thalapathy’s “GOAT” (Netflix)

Just a few days after Gandhi Jayanti, where we fondly remember the apostle of peace (Non-violence). I stumbled upon Netflix’s new offering—G.O.A.T.—which introduces us to a very different Gandhi. This one’s all about dining, dancing, and…decimating. Yes, folks, the new-age Gandhi doesn’t believe in turning the other cheek; instead, he hands out knuckle sandwiches with a side of swagger.

The title, Greatest of All Time, is clearly an unabashed / audacious tribute to Thalapathy Vijay’s colossal fanbase. And if you’re a die-hard Thalapathy fan, boy, are you in for a treat! You’ll be GLOAT from the first frame to the last. But if you’re a mere mortal like the rest of us, prepare to BLOAT from the sheer regret of sacrificing almost three hours of your life on this half-baked casserole of mediocrity.

Marketed as Vijay’s swan song before he hangs up his boots (or rather, dons his politician’s cap), the movie is nothing short of a glorified fan service buffet. Expect plenty of “seeti podu” moments, unnecessary dance numbers with pelvic thrusts that could power a small village, and enough blood-soaked action scenes to make Quentin Tarantino consider early retirement. If you’re a Vijay devotee, this film is like Christmas in July. But for the rest of us? Keep the remote close, because you’ll need it.

And let’s talk about the plot and performances—oh wait, better not. Plot? Screenplay? As haphazard and ruffled as the hero’s hairdo after a windy day. Vijay pulls double duty as both father and son, which for fans means double the joy, and for everyone else, double the chances to roll their eyes. The much-hyped “de-aging” AI technology is as “intelligent” as a toaster, leaving characters looking more “artificial” than the plot twists. And those songs? You’ll wish they’d been cut entirely, or at the very least, written with some semblance of sense. the climax with CSK and MI match is beautifully blended into the tense finish. However, Without a bombshell heroine or a memorable villain, calling this a GOAT is like serving tofu at a BBQ—unsatisfying.

Am I glad I skipped the cinema 8 week ago and saved my dirhams? Absolutely. Watching this from the comfort of my couch, I had the luxury of pausing and questioning my life choices at regular intervals. But if you’re a Vijay fan ready to shout “seeti podu!”—what are you waiting for? If not, maybe just…think it over.