RAW, Cooked & Half-Baked: The State of Desi Spy Thrillers

RAW, Cooked & Half-Baked: The State of Desi Spy Thrillers

Past few days, I plunged headfirst into the murky waters of desi espionage cinema and emerged slightly concussed. Thankfully, the tide did rise — from hopeless sludge to mildly watchable mush. Independence Day patriotism overdose? Quite possibly. But someone had to be the guinea pig in this cinematic laboratory of smoke, mirrors, and misplaced abs.

A) War 2 (Theatrical release)

War 2 was truly RAW — raw stunts, raw acting, and raw writing, all served with the finesse of undercooked biryani. Shirtless heroes ran in slow motion as if gravity had signed a peace treaty, even coaxing the heroine to flaunt her abs (alas, diplomacy failed). This film deserves an award for being the most intelligent movie ever — because you can watch it midway, backward, fast-forward, scrambled, or even on mute, and still walk out asking: “What in the RAW hell did I just watch?” Neither the Greek God, the Telugu Devara, nor a bikini-brave Kiara could keep this Titanic from hitting the iceberg of its own script. It’s less a war, more a gym session with espionage as background noise.

‘B) Tehran (Zee5 OTT)

At last, a spy thriller that flexed brains over biceps. Dialogues in native tongues — Farsi for Iranians, Hebrew for Israelis — finally spared us the absurdity of Mossad agents whispering in Bandra-accented Hindi. Locations across Abu Dhabi, Azerbaijan, and Tehran stamped credibility on the passport. Action was slick, tension palpable — almost a chess match between spymasters, until some scenes dragged longer than a bureaucrat signing a confidential memo. Still, applause for trying. JohnBhai, surprisingly, wasn’t just flexing his jawline; he delivered a kickass cop performance, though tragically he was the only one who read the memo titled: “Act like you mean it.”

C) Saare Kahan Se Acchha (Netflix)

This one smelled of ambition. Real-life titans — Homi Bhabha, Indira Gandhi, R.N. Kao, Henry Kissinger, Zulfikar Bhutto — all paraded in, raising intrigue levels high enough to need a diplomatic clearance. The open-ended finale teased Season 2: shifting from the Western front to the Northern one, finally squaring off against the Chinese dragon. But alas, authenticity and gravitas got smothered under the holy trinity of desi thrillers: moles, betrayals, and patriotic monologues. The ‘Kao’boys could’ve saddled up as the true cowboys of OTT, but instead they politely trotted around like government clerks at a parade.

Performance-wise, Pratik Gandhi was earnest, playing our Ethan hunt hero sans action, but Sunny Hinduja stole — no, hogged — the cake as ISI head Ali Murtuza Malik, cold and conniving as a fox at a henhouse buffet.

Final Debrief

From flexing abs to almost-classics, our desi spy-verse still feels like it’s in the “RAW sketches” stage of development. War 2 flexed, Tehran strategized, and Saare Kahan Se Acchha flirted with greatness but tripped on its shoelaces. Until someone cracks the code, espionage here will remain masala over mission.

We haven’t reached Fauda levels yet, but the likes of Himmat Singh give us a glimmer of hope. It’s still a work in progress — but who knows? Maybe one day we’ll graduate from “RAW drafts” to a Saare Jahan Se Acchha league of espionage storytelling. Until then, keep your popcorn salted and your expectations unsalted.